


i loved you more than i thought i would

by imnotanironwall



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Getting Together, Non-Linear Narrative, Strangers to Lovers, What happened during the KHIII Re:Mind timeskip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24917488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotanironwall/pseuds/imnotanironwall
Summary: And I found love where it wasn't supposed to beRight in front of me
Relationships: Kairi/Riku (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 22





	i loved you more than i thought i would

**Author's Note:**

> Started this in February, life happened, MLoM was announced, decided to finish it before the game made me want to rewrite everything.  
> Not beta-read.
> 
> WARNING; Very brief mention of: throwing up, needles, blood, mind control, canon-compliant trauma, background (not canon) character death.

> When Sora comes back, his friends have changed. There's something untold, he can feel it, heavy and important, hanging between them and the rest of the worlds. He sees it in the way they look at each other when they think no one else does, a furtive glance above their shoulder, a rapid eye contact across the room. They don't seem to notice it themselves, how they search for the other's gaze.
> 
> Sora is lost. They've grown and he hasn't. Or maybe he did and they haven't, everything is still a little hazy around the edges. 
> 
> They don't talk about it. Sora doesn't press. The thorn of a rose pierces the skin of his thumb and covers the pang in his chest as he is left out of a secret he has no idea was always there.

* * *

Sora has left before him. It's weird, Sora never leaves without him. They get his uncle to row them to the island and he comes to pick them up later, but Sora's uncle tells Riku he has already taken the boy to the island earlier. Strange.

There's something the man doesn't tell Riku as he paddles through the sea. There's a knowing smile that wants to be discreet but isn't, and Riku has been a kid long enough to know it means adults are hiding something from him - something good, a big surprise, something he is never expecting, or so they think. He wonders what it has to do with Sora. 

With a pat on the back, he is left on the wharf, alone on the island as far as he sees. Until he hears them, the laughter. They echo as if coming from far away. Riku remembers the cave hiding behind branches and leaves and he immediately rushes there. It's not like Sora to leave him, he would never do that.

"Sora?" He says as he enters the cave, a chilly breeze running under his shirt. He hears the laughter again. He recognizes Sora's, loud and clear, and joyful, he can never get enough of it. It's his favorite sound in the whole world. 

But there's another laugh he doesn't recognize. It's lighter, more subdued, yet he can tell it's just as delighted as the boy. Riku frowns. 

And then he sees _her_. It's a girl he doesn't know. She has short red hair and pale skin, so unlike his own, and she's looking at Sora with a gaze he knows better than anyone else. Her hands are folded on her laps as she carefully listens to one of Sora's story, a smile on her lips as he gestures wildly. Just behind them, a drawing of the two kids sharing a paopu fruit is engraved in the rock. 

She's the one that notices him standing there. Riku feels sick. 

"Oh, Riku!" Sora stands up and runs toward him, he takes his hand and tugs him forward toward the stranger. Before he can say anything, Sora lets go of his hand and it falls empty to the boy's side. "This is Kairi! She's my new friend!" 

Riku throws up. 

* * *

“You’re so… selfish.” 

Riku looks away, fists clenched at his side. Sora’s gone. Kairi’s back. They’re arguing again. 

“If anyone’s acting selfishly here, it’s you, Riku.” Her gaze burns, he cannot bring himself to look at the two glowing amethyst throwing daggers at him. She doesn’t understand, he doubts she ever will. “I will not gently stay at home and wait for you to bring him back as I’ve always done. I’m doing this, end of discussion.”

They don’t know where he is, it’s been months. Kairi is the last one that connected with him, they share a bond Riku can only wish he had. She believes she will find him in her memories, or maybe her dreams. She doesn’t know what to do either, this is her last chance, she had said weeks prior when they had first fought about it. Riku just wants to play the knight in shining armor, she had spat at him in a fit of anger before storming out of the room. 

She’s wrong, but he doesn’t tell her. The only thing he has in common with a knight in shining armor is his pride. Maybe things would have turn out differently if he wasn’t the way he is. He watches her climb on the cold, hard, and uncomfortable bed in Even’s lab, smoothing her jacket down one last time before extending her right arm toward the scientist. Riku turns away before the needle pierces her skin. He can hear her breathing quickly slow down until a strong rhythmic beeping sound takes over, so loud it makes his head hurt. 

She hasn’t said goodbye. 

They never do.

His heart cries as he rushes out of the room and out of the castle. The tears won’t fall but it hurts nonetheless.

* * *

> “K-Kairi?” He says tentatively as he reaches the paopu tree. The others stayed on the beach, dumbfounded by what had transpired. One second their friends were back, the next Sora faded away, sunset shining through his translucent body until he was gone. 
> 
> The girl turns around at the familiar voice, tears running down her face. “Riku…” She chokes as he reaches her, hands immediately grasping hers - he doesn’t understand yet what had happened, but he can’t lose her too. 
> 
> “What just happened? Where’s… Where’s Sora?” His throat closes up around the name, which suddenly seems foreign and unattainable. He has done some research, during the long weeks he had waited for the return of his friends. What he had found had created a pit of worries deep in his heart, one he had tried to ignore until now. Diving into people’s hearts had a cost, what exactly the book hadn’t specified, except for a quote that had carved itself in Riku’s brain:
> 
> _Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost._
> 
> “I don’t really know,” she whispers as her head hangs low. “His heart can’t come back to this world, nor any we know of, apparently. He’s… He’s somewhere we can’t reach.” 
> 
> The reality of this quote now strikes him plain in the heart. And it bleeds silently as he cradles her cheek in his hand, drenched as the tears keep falling, and he brings their foreheads together. “We’ll bring him back,” he promises more to himself than to her, “I swear. We’ll bring him back.”

* * *

He doesn’t visit her the first three weeks, he can’t bring himself to. He knows everyone must think he is acting selfishly - or that they pity him for being left alone _again,_ \- but he can’t bring himself to care either. Terra’s words echo in his head, _you’ve even found the strength to save your friends_ \-- they sound like a lie. 

In the quiet of the night when the town sleeps and few guards patrol the outer area, he slips through the gates that limit Radiant Garden and flees past the canyon and the arid desert, past the towering cliffs and battlegrounds, too reminiscent of Hollow Bastion, to a narrow gap between two mountains. The passage is dark and cold, wind whistling between the rocks as he cautiously makes his way to the fixed light farther away. Cool night air ruffles his hair as he exits the alley, making him shiver after the unbearable heat of the desert -- he can never get used to that change of temperature despite the countless times he took that path. 

  
  


He breathes in. 

_Peace_.

Under him, the sand and the rocks have been replaced with lush grass and flowers, plants creeping along the edges of the nearby cliffs but stopping shy of the top were the sun burns during the day. For now, the moonflowers and Japanese wisterias revel in the light of the moon that beams above them, through the open sky that surrounds this private meadow. Riku takes two steps forward before bending down to leave his shoes by the exit.

How he found this place, he can’t quite remember, but he knows it was right after his argument with Kairi. He had needed space, far away from judging stares and quiet whispers. _You just want to play the hero. A fake knight in shining armor. I do not need your protection nor your permission._ So he had run. Ran and ran until he struggled to breathe and could only see sand and cliffs and landscapes that all looked the same -- until he stumbled here and made it his own private resting place.

He sighs, falling on his back between the flowers with muted tones, eyes cast to the clear starry sky up above. Despite how painful it is, to think Sora is somewhere out there, out of his reach, he can’t keep his eyes away. He always dreamt of the worlds that reside beyond the sea and past the stars, and he still does despite everything. But right now, it’s all just too painful: to travel, to search, to leave. He can’t leave Kairi, he _can’t. Not again_. 

He turns his gaze away. A blue flower stares at him with its singular yellow eye. The white around it stretching to five petals looks like a paopu fruit; he presses his lips together. A tentative finger brushes a petal, and it’s as soft as he expected it to be. 

“When will she wake up, do you think?” he asks the flower. It doesn’t answer. He doesn’t need it to. “I wonder what she’s doing. Did she meet Joshua? Hopefully, he went back to his own world. If not, I hope he guides her too.”

He hmms to himself before turning his attention back to the universe above him. Everything is silent, save for the rustling of the leaves when the wind picks up, and then dies down again. “Maybe I _am_ selfish. But I just wanted to keep her safe, you know. I didn’t protect Sora and here we are,” he gestures pathetically to the sky before dropping his hand on his chest. He exhales.

“I hope she wakes up soon.”

His confession falls into unresponsive ears, but the weight on his chest still lifts. The next second, he shimmies back into his shoes and turns to the flower, petals shivering as he cuts it from the ground and rushes out of his alcove. 

The sun is barely grazing the horizon when he reaches the chamber he knows she lies in, where the bud-shape pod that haunted his dreams for a year now rest again, a different body inside but the dread around it always the same. With a deep breath, he steps toward it and delicately places the flower next to the machine before escaping without a glance, the mere sight of black boots too much for his heart yet. 

_Forget-me-not_ , the flower cries out. 

When he finally falls amongst the sheet of his bed, Riku closes his eyes and sighs. Maybe he should take Aerith up on her offer, maybe he should talk to someone.

* * *

He finds Sora in a dream.

The city is wide. The streets are never-ending and confusing. The people don’t have the time to stop and help him. They seem oblivious to the chaos around them. He feels lost and alone. 

Yet, he manages to find Sora, or he believes it is, at the very least. 

The rain comes crashing down as he defeats the last of those mysterious heartless - they didn’t seem like heartless to him, simply like monsters, but everything was always a little off in his dreams. He sighs as his keyblade falls to his side and vanishes, hand automatically flying to his side as a slight pain overtakes him. And then he feels it, a vibration. And it comes again, loud and shaking the earth with each wave. Again and again and again, rhythmically like a pulse. Whatever it is, Riku knows he needs to follow it. 

It leads him to a tower so high he can’t see the top between the blinding street lights. And so he climbs the building, one stair at a time until he reaches the open rooftop. And there he finds him. 

Suspended in mid-air and enclosed in ice that gleams in the night lights, there he lays. _Sora_. Riku steps forward, heart pounding in his chest as relief floods him. He found him. 

“You came back.” He stops. “When will you learn to give up.”

Before Sora, there sits a figure. Clad in full armor of a vibrant purple and red, metallic wings stretching on either side of a helmet, splashes of dried blood on dark glass hiding their face from view. They stand up and walk intently towards Riku. With every step, the ground ripples.

“Leave.”

“Wha- No! I’m not leaving. I’m here to save Sora!” 

“Then die.” In a flash, they summon a weapon out of thin air and grasp it. Riku gasps. A winged heart-shaped guard in pinkish hues that darken at the ends, a silver star charm dangling from a long chain, a black handle and shaft, crystal pink teeth in the curious shape of a crown… 

“...a keyblade?”

They rush toward him. He barely has the time to summon his own weapon before they crash into him and send him flying toward the edge of the tower. 

The assault doesn’t stop. They come back for a strike that compels Riku to leap to the side. They immediately summon a gust of wind that sweeps him off his feet the moment he lands. “Wait! I don’t want to fight!” He screams as he stumbles backward. 

“You shouldn’t have come here then.” Riku parries their next attack, feet firmly stuck to the ground. “I won’t hand Sora to anyone.”

“I’m here to save him!” 

He can almost hear the clenching of their teeth as they come for another powerful strike, right for his ribs. “ _I’m tired of your lies_!”

“He’s my friend!” He yells back, but they don’t listen. Whoever this... _guardian_ is, they seem to have no intention to stop, not until one of them is defeated. And so, Riku has no choice but to beat them -- he needs to save Sora no matter what, no matter who stands in his way. He promised.

He can feel sweat sliding down his neck as he stumbles back from another powerful attack. His opponent is puissant, way too much, and there’s no other way out than one being defeated. They seem intent on protecting Sora, as if they knew him, somehow. It’s like… _a blinding devotion_.

It strikes him. 

After one last deep breath, he rushes toward his adversary with incredible speed, keyblade ready for an attack to the chest. They immediately turn to parry, legs bending into a defensive stance as both weapons crash together. They push against each other as the sound of keyblade clashing against each other echoes in the night sky until--

“Thundaga!” A beam of electricity comes down from the sky with a crackling noise and crash into the two figures on the tower. With clenched teeth, Riku plants his feet onto the ground as he feels the lightning coursing through his body, momentarily stunning them both. 

Almost immediately, a large crack cleaves the guardian’s helmet in two, glass breaking under the intensity of the spell. They wince as pieces fall onto their skin, piercing it until it bleeds. Under the now split helmet, a purple eye with a slitted pupil looks up at Riku with all the rage in the world. 

The boy smiles, weapon vanishing from his hands as he lifts them to hold the broken helmet. He doesn’t even wince when the crystalline teeth of her keyblade sink into his body. Instead, he lifts the helmet off and lets it fall to the side. With his thumb, he brushes the dark glass away from fair bleeding skin. 

“Kairi, it’s me: Riku.”

And the spell shatters.

> He wakes up to fingers in his hair and a thumb on his wrist, rubbing the sore skin where his brace should be. For a second, he opens his eyes to long blond hair and sighs in relief.
> 
> "I found them."

They sit on the ground, backs to the crystallized body of their friend. Kairi exhales, shoulders sagging as she takes off the upper part of her armor for a brief instant. “What happened?” Riku eventually asks.

The girl looks up at the dark sky, not a star in sight. “In short: I don’t know,” she shrugs. “I remember following my memories to Sora until I came here. This world is the only one I don’t know, so I believe it is where Sora truly is: not this sleeping version of the world, but the real one out there. But there was a man, here, named Yozora. He looks just like you.”

Riku raises an eyebrow, surprise painted on his face. Kairi shakes her head before he can speak. “He is looking for someone named Sora, but they’re not from this world either. I believe that’s why he froze our Sora; he believed he was usurping their identity, just like I thought he was with yours. 

“I tried to take Sora back with me, but Yozora kept coming back to stop me. He thinks his friend and Sora are connected in a way, but he doesn’t know how, and he is not inclined to listen. We fought, but it was cut short by... _someone_.”

He notices the tension in her jaw, her fist clenching as she pauses to look at a particular spot on the roof. There’s no one here, she’s seeing something Riku can’t. He doesn’t press her, they both know she’s withholding information. He knows better than to insist. 

Eventually, she comes back to herself. “They did something to me, chained me to this place. It’s hazy, but it suddenly felt like my only goal was to protect Sora. Everyone became an enemy.”

“You can go back home now.”

“No,” she shakes her head once more. She stands, still wobbly on her legs, and starts putting her armor back on. “I know I’m here for a reason. I need to help Yozora.” She holds her helmet in her hands, visor completely shattered now. She bites her lips, her gaze momentarily vitriolic. It’s gone almost immediately. “I can’t come back before I’m done here, but I can’t help him alone.”

She turns toward Riku, the first time since she came back to herself. The determination in her eyes sends shivers down his back, he has never seen her like that before. “Find Yozora’s real world and help him on your end. This is the only way to save Sora.”

* * *

  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


They save Sora.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_They save Sora_ and Riku can’t look him in the eyes. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_They save Sora_ and all Riku can think about is **Kairi**. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_They save Sora_ but **Kairi doesn’t wake up**. 

And so Riku dives in her dreams again.

  
  
  


The place he falls into is new, unknown to him, but everywhere he looks he can feel warmth and love. He finds Kairi immediately. 

She sits on a bed, too small for a teenager, in a room that screams early childhood. The walls are painted white, with a few colorful flowers drawn with a shaky hand near the ground, and are decorated with dozens of pictures and stick-figures drawings, most of them of a little girl and an older woman. The occasional grey cat holding a pink pouch and hooded figure with a single blue eye peeking through the shadows disappear from Riku’s view before he can remember what they were. The room is mostly bare, save for the bed, a wardrobe, and a small wooden table filled with blank papers and pastel pencils. Through the single window, Riku can see fields upon fields of flowers extend for miles. 

“I used to live here,” Kairi says in a soft-spoken manner, snapping Riku out of his observation. She’s holding a photograph in her hand, Riku realizes as he steps toward her. He sits on the bed. 

“I lived with my grandmother. I never got to know my moms.” 

The photograph is old, falling apart at the edges, and there are countless fingerprints on it. Riku can guess a younger Kairi must have looked at it every chance she had. And he can understand why as he takes a closer look: there are two women in the picture. The first one has long red hair attached in a messy ponytail. She’s sitting on a bed with a blue bundle in her arms, and despite the exhaustion on her face, she has the widest and happiest smile the boy has ever seen. The other woman is standing next to the bed, bright purple eyes shining wet as she looks to the newborn baby. Riku can feel his stomach flips at the joy this photograph is radiating. 

“There was an accident on the way home. They found me in the wreckage, unscathed. This is the only picture of the three of us that was ever taken,” she pauses for a second, the bitterness in her next words betrays her sorrow and anger. “This _was_ the only picture. The house is gone now.”

Riku stays silent. There’s nothing he can say to bring her family back. He wonders if that’s why she stayed here, to live in her memories just a little longer. She doesn’t give him time to ponder that question.

“Shouldn’t you be at the castle waiting for Sora?”

He cocks an eyebrow, believing his reply evident. “Sora has been awake for a week. I’m here to bring _you_ back.”

“Oh.”

She looks away, her attention shifting to the window. She bites her lip. “Can you give me another night?”

Riku hmms. He looks to the closed door. He knows the moment he walks past, he will exit Kairi’s dreams. He’d prefer not to leave her, but he can also see how she needs it. “One night.”

With a nod, he gets up and walks to the door. Before he goes, he turns one last time toward her and smile, something discreet. “Goodnight Kairi.”

She throws him a quick glance before turning her gaze to the picture that hasn’t left her hands. “Goodnight Riku.”

The next morning, when the large sleeping pod blooms and Kairi opens her eyes for the first time in a year, Riku greets her with a smile. 

* * *

They come back to the Destiny Islands, eventually. Riku is not sure how he feels about it. They aren’t his safe haven anymore, they hold too much guilt and hatred, and midnight tears, and identity crises. Kairi mirrors his gaze when they step out of the gummiship and his fingers itch to wipe away the fear and sadness. Instead, he turns to Sora who jumps onto the sand and laughs like there is no tomorrow, relief clear in his eyes. _Home,_ they say. 

They barely talk. There is no time nor place to, they have families to visit and life to get back to. And as far as Riku is concerned, a future to plan. 

He had a brief talk with his parents, before flying away to Radiant Garden for the longest year, and they expect him to finish school, at the very least. They don’t fully understand the role of a Keyblade Master (nor he, if he is being honest), but they are willing to let him follow this path if this is what he wants to do, as long as he visits them from time to time. Sometimes he thinks he was truly blessed with understanding parents, he knows not everyone is. 

When the clock hits noon, his front door bursts open. 

“Everyone’s coming! Let’s go!” And without any further explanation, he follows Sora to their usual hanging spot. 

They rewrite painful memories. Keyblade wielders gather on the beach for the afternoon, and when dusk comes, no one disappears. There are only laughter and dancing and swimming. 

“Aren’t you going to join us?” a voice calls out to him. Kairi sits next to him, salty droplets falling down her arms and legs. She pulls on her swimsuit skirt when she notices Riku’s eyes following the water, always overly conscious of her body. 

“I don’t know,” he says, turning his face away, eyes searching for Sora. Silence stretches between them. They still haven’t properly talked about what happened, about the argument, but he knows he needs to apologize. “About what happened…”

“We don’t need to talk about it.” And he can hear the smile in her voice, the resigned one. _I’m not deserving of an apology_ , he hears the thought. 

“I should have been there for you, not just then, but every other time. I was just always thinking about Sora, or just myself. You weren’t at fault.” He takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry.”

Kairi doesn’t look at him when she shakes her head _no_. She looks at Sora when she speaks her next words. “No, I understand. I was always thinking about Sora, too. Just,” she points at him with her hand, vague enough outsiders wouldn’t guess what she is doing. Riku nods. “It was easier to ignore the feelings I knew you had for him too, and blaming you was always easier. I’m not without my faults either.”

She laughs, something sad and hollow, head turning away from Riku. He can’t read her expression. “He’s all yours now, I won’t interfere.” 

His gaze follows Sora, attentive to his every movement, from the curve of his lips when he laughs to the sun shining in his eyes. There’s no pounding in his chest when he imagines holding his hand and dancing in the moonlight. Not anymore. 

“Mhm, it’s fine. It’s different now.”

“You’re too nice, Riku.” And he wants to tell her that _no, no he isn’t nice at all, it all comes from a selfish place and if she could read his mind she would know he is far from the strong and perfect boy everyone believes he is_ ... But the sun shines on her red hair and it burns with all the colors of a fire. Her smile, tender and _real_ , pierces through the clutter in his mind as she looks at him with amethyst eyes in which he loses hours of his life. 

She jumps to her feet, shaking her head to something untold, and extends her hand to him. “Let’s join the others.” Without a second thought, he takes it and let himself be pushed to his feet with a strength he _knew_ she had, but never fully realized until now. And his heart reacts before it gets to his brain, skipping a beat before hammering on the gates of his chest with renewed vigor. Heat rises up to his cheeks as Kairi walks toward the others, a spring in her step, her hand still clutching Riku’s. His next breath is all shaky.

 _Oh_. 

* * *

The sun is blinding, shining bright above his head as he sits up in a flower bed, the landscape completely different from the bedroom he remembers falling asleep in. It takes him a few minutes to recognize the paved grounds of Radiant Garden, sleeker and sturdier. It takes him even longer to register the flapping wings in his back and the sharp fangs pushing on his lower lip. 

_Ah_ , he thinks, _Sora is dreaming_ . But the sudden scream he hears in the distance, tickling all his senses and urging him to **protect** , isn’t one he immediately recognizes. He jumps to his feet and bolts in the direction of the voice, heart pounding in his ears. 

The way to the castle’s gates of Radiant Garden is well-known, but there is a feeling of new, fresher, yet _old_ that he can’t quite put his finger on. He meets no one on the way until a figure clad in a long white coat moves in the background. The face that turns toward him immediately triggers his fight or flight instincts, arm stretching to summon his keyblade. When the familiar weight in his fist doesn’t come, the figure smiles, something malicious and _knowing_. 

“ _It hasn’t awakened yet_ ,” the man with long grey hair says, taking a step toward Riku. There’s something, _someone_ , in his arms. A child, small, short red hair, white and pink dress -- _Kairi_ . What is she doing here? What is she doing with _him_ ? “ _You can’t change the past_.”

His vision obscures and blurs, the scenery suddenly changes, somber, and cold. He isn’t outside anymore, but he knows he still is in Radiant Garden. The machine that stands before him he remembers too well, saw it countless times in Hollow Bastion. However the single pod is not empty anymore, it’s filled with a green liquid, bubbles rising slowly, dancing around the body sleeping inside. _Sleeping_ , it seems, until blue slanted eyes open and look straight at him, look straight into his soul and core and mind and see his futures and his past and everything in between. 

He wakes up with a gasp. 

The room is dark, the moon barely shining between the closed curtains. There’s not a sound, the house still asleep in the late hours of the night. He turns his head toward the bed where Sora and Kairi sleep and meets purple slanted eyes. He bites his tongue to suppress the shout that threatens to escape at the sight. 

Kairi extends her arm toward Riku and touches his cheek, he doesn’t flinch when her thumb rubs under his left eye. The touch is recomforting. “Does Sora know?” She whispers. 

He blinks, willing away the last proof of his nightly escapade. The room is a shade darker when he opens his eyes. 

“No,” he eventually answers when he understands what she is talking about. She must have seen the wings and his bright yellow eyes. Her hand lingers for another moment before she retracts it under the cover. She nods. 

“I’ll keep your secret if you keep mine.”

“Hmm,” he falls on his back, looking up at the ceiling. He can feel Kairi’s eyes on him. He casts her a quick glance before focusing once more on the shadows above them. “When?”

“I’m not sure. I try not to think about it too much.”

A sigh. A finger reaches for a stray strand of hair falling on his face and brushes it away. Riku instantly leans into the touch that lingers on his temple, eyes closing at the warmth spreading from Kairi's hand. 

"You should sleep," she says, fingers unmoving. 

"Hmm, you too."

"I will," he can hear the smile in her voice. "Goodnight Riku."

"Goodnight Kairi."

* * *

Peace and quiet is not something Riku is accustomed to, or rather, hasn’t been in the past few years. But his life eventually settles down. 

Honoring the promise he had made his parents, he focuses on catching up with school, powering through a two-year curriculum in seven months so he can graduate in May like most of his classmates. He passes Mathematics and Social Studies without issue, a full year of tinkering with data and spending late-night hours in a library finally useful. And with the help of Kairi, who’s also following that same two-year curriculum, he manages to pass everything else. 

They attend the graduation ceremony and smile for the pictures. Their friends come for a meal on the beach to celebrate with them and their families, congratulations and gifts rain on them. 

When the last fire dies down, Riku breathes. Finally.

He is walking along the docks, slowly making his way home (alone, his parents having left the party long ago), when he spots Kairi. She’s standing near the water, looking at the moon shining upon the sea. The streetlight behind her flickers as he approaches. 

“I was sure Lea walked you home,” he says. She doesn’t appear surprised, as if she was expecting him. 

“Mhm,” she shakes her head. “I told him I needed some alone time.”

They stand next to each other in perfect silence, water crashing against the shore at their feet. There’s a slight breeze that brings the smell of the sea, salty, familiar, comforting. Riku feels at peace. He may not want to call the Destiny Islands home anymore but they will always bring him this sensation of freshness, even when the sun has burnt the ground and the air is heavy. He wonders where _home_ is now.

He breathes in. 

“Kairi--” “Riku--”

He stops in his track, turning his head toward his friend. She gives him an apologetic smile before nodding toward him. “Go ahead.” 

“Ah.” He averts her gaze. The momentum is lost, and his bravado is all but gone, he suddenly feels embarrassed by what he was about to ask her. He nervously rubs his neck. “There’s a place I meant to show you before; off-world. If you don’t feel like going back just yet, maybe we could go?”

“Mmh,” she looks behind her at the rows of houses and perfectly mowed lawns, all so quiet in the dead of night. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

They ride to Radiant Garden but don’t land near the castle. Instead, they fly until all they see is sand and rocks and Riku recognizes the particular cliff he is looking for. 

“If you wanted to get rid of me, it would have been easier to do it in space, you know,” Kairi jokes when they leave the gummiship and Riku leads her toward the mountains. He chuckles as he ducks his head to crawl through the small entrance before gesturing to the exit on the far side.

“This way.”

“You are not reassuring me _at all_ , Riku.”

“Shh, be quiet, and just follow me. Takes off your shoes when you reach the grass.”

“ _Grass?_ What are you talking abou--” 

The cave opens up to the secret meadow hiding between the cliffs, air cool and fresh, so odd in the middle of the desert. Riku turns toward Kairi with a tentative smile. “Pretty, right?”

She looks around, mouth wide open, stopped mid-sentence. She quickly takes off her shoes and runs to the flowers and the trees hiding in this garden. “Gods, Riku.” She turns toward him with a broad grin and stars in her eyes. “This is incredible! How did you find this?”

He kicks off his own shoes and joins her, sitting in the bed of flowers he usually occupied. “I had a lot of time on my hands,” he shrugs. He watches Kairi explore for a few minutes before she flops down beside him. Her eyes follow the vines along the cliffs to the hole in the sky. The moon can barely be seen behind the rocks, but the stars shine bright in the immensity of the night. 

She breathes out, excitement settling down. 

“I needed that.”

She lets a few seconds tick by before she fully lays on the grass. “What are you planning to do now?” She asks. 

Riku turns his face toward her, but her gaze is fixed on the heaven above, and so he decides to do the same. “I’m not sure. There’s so much we don’t know about the keyblade, I want to find out what happened before us. What about you?”

“I don’t know. Probably find a small job back home. I’m not really meant to wield the keyblade.”

Riku sits up suddenly, frowning. “What?” 

Kairi simply shrugs, not looking at him. “I did what I could, I’m not needed anymore.”

“That’s not true.” He shakes his head. “We need you, you’re a very capable wielder and I’m sure with more time and training you could become a Master too.”

She clicks her tongue at him, her brows furrowing. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, just drop it, it’s fine.”

“I know what I’m talking about, Kairi. I saw you fight! If I didn’t figure out a way to snap you out of that spell, you would have beaten me.”

“Then maybe we’re both weak.”

“Wh--” He stops, pain flooding his eyes. He brings a hand to his chest and grips his shirt with all his might as a knife cuts his heart open. Kairi sits up. 

“You were right, I was stupid. I decided I would save Sora alone, and I couldn’t do it.”

“Wai--”

“I _am_ selfish. I didn’t want to do it for Sora, I just wanted to do it for _me_ , to prove everyone I wasn’t just a damsel in distress. And here, look where it brought me: you had to come save me. Again. _I’m weak_.”

“Kairi!” 

His shout instantly stops her rambling. 

His hands fly to his face as he sighs loudly. Trembling fingers course through his hair as he breathes in deeply to ground himself. “No,” he says again, gentler this time, a bit helpless on the edges. “No, _you_ were right. I was trying to hold you back, I should have supported you. Without you, I don’t think we would have found Sora so quickly.”

“Without me, Sora wouldn’t have gone missing,” she spits quietly.

He sighs. He understands exactly where she is coming from, though it is still unclear what happened when she was away. “It’s not your fault Sora cares about his friends, it’s not your fault Xehanort decided to exploit that. It’s not anyone’s fault but _Xehanort_.”

She crosses her arms over her chest and looks away, a frown on her face. Riku bites his lips to suppress another sigh. “Look. If you don’t want to be a keyblade wielder anymore, I won’t force you. That’s your choice. But giving up because others made you feel you weren’t worth it, that you were weak… It doesn’t sit right with me.”

He hesitantly puts his hand on her shoulder to grab her attention. Her eyes are shining, but the tears don’t fall. “You’re strong, Kairi. You work hard, you’re brave, you care about your friends: you’re amazing.”

He reaches into his jacket and takes out two pieces of, at first glance, paper. He hands them to Kairi. “I’m sure your moms and your grandma would be proud of you.”

She takes them and turns them around, her eyes widening at the sight. 

The tears fall when she recognizes the photographs, long thought lost. It’s quiet and discreet, yet unrestrained. Riku can see the emotion overtaking her entirely as she brings the pictures to her chest and holds them close to her heart. He lets it happen, lets her have this moment with the people she loves more than anything. 

“How?” She eventually whispers, voice trembling around the word. 

“Before you woke up, I asked Ienzo if there was a way to print out a memory. They had been collecting data from your dreams already, so it was worth a shot. They are your graduation gift.”

“Riku… I don’t--” 

He looks away, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. “It’s okay. I understand what you’re going through, to some extent. I just wanted to do this for you, at least. I--”

He swallows back his words before they even get the chance to get out as he is knocked on his back by Kairi. Her arms circle his waist as she hugs him with all her strength, very nearly knocking all the air out of his lungs. He manages to sneak his arms from under her grip and hugs her back as she buries her head in his neck, sniffling loudly. 

“Thank you.”

Riku shakes his head but doesn’t utter a word. 

At last, when the sun rises over the cliffs and they disentangle themselves from one another, he smiles at her with all the tenderness one can hold in their heart. “Anytime.”

* * *

The minutes blur into hours and the hours into days and soon two weeks have passed. They sit on the paopu tree, just the two of them, looking down at the setting sun. Riku breathes in, filling his lungs with oceanic air. He knows he’ll miss it, but he has decided it is finally time for him to leave. 

“You packed your bags already?”

Riku nods. “Yeah. You too?”

“Mhm. I still have a few things to grab tomorrow morning. I promised Lea I’d bring him that paopu ice cream he has been crazy about recently.”

“I see. Say hello to everyone for me?”

She smiles. “Why? Too scared I’ll beat your ass in a fight if you come by?”

“No! Yes! I mean, we’ll both be busy!”

She elbows him, a laugh on her lips. “I’m just joking, I know. I hope you’ll still come to see me though.”

It’s his turn to elbow her. “Yeah, of course silly.”

They smirk at each other before looking back to the sea before them. They haven’t decided what their future will look like, entirely, but they both found a place to start. Riku is flying back to Radiant Garden, he is sure he will find more secrets of what happened to previous keyblade wielders there - at the very least, some hints to where to look. Kairi, on the other end, chose to go to the Land of Departure and focus on mastering her skills. She wants to pass her mark of mastery, and Lea has agreed to train alongside her. Riku is relieved she won’t be doing it alone, having experienced first hand the kind of headspace she could fall into. 

He sighs. He will miss her. They spent the past eight months basically glued at the hip, studying late into the night and into the early morning. And well, he can stop burying his head in the sand, Kairi _has_ become _very important_ to him in the past year. He can’t imagine going a full week without hearing her voice or seeing her smile, or how she blushes when she is called pretty, how she laughs with her chest after a very bad joke. And he will miss the little touches, delicate, fleeting, of fingers in his hair when they have a sleepover, or the arm slung over his shoulder when they team up against Sora, despite how tall he is compared to her. He will miss the warmth of her hand in his.

He breathes in. “Kairi--”

“I know,” she replies immediately. The look she gives him says enough. It tells of his not-so-subtle gazes, of his unbelievable support and affection, of the love he thought locked away deep inside his heart. “I know,” she repeats, softer, a smile on her lips. 

She reaches into the front pocket of her pants and takes out a charm. It’s a flower with five blue petals, the shape similar to a paopu fruit. Each petal whitens until it connects to the yellow center. “Here. I meant to give it to you as a graduation gift.”

It weighs almost nothing in his hand, so fragile and beautiful. He loves it.

“I love it.”

And if they whisper any other word in the quiet of the evening, they’re drowned by the sound of the waves crashing against the beach. And if they taste soft lips for the first time, the smell of the sea makes it all the more comforting. And even if they’re worlds apart, they know, deep inside their hearts, that they have each other.

**Author's Note:**

> THIS FIC HAS [FANART](https://twitter.com/LicoriceRoll/status/1327233444213116929?s=19) NOW!!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/imnotanironwall)


End file.
